(FYI, if you haven’t read my previous blog, you may want to read it before you dive into this one!)
I’ve been told by so many, and also have read so many accounts by foster parents, that it’s the paperwork that kills you in this process. I may be weird, but I don’t mind paperwork. Some may be repetitive and tedious, but it’s not that bad. For me, and this is something that I was told by a case specialist at the beginning, I’m being taken down by the idea of being a control freak during a process that I have no control over.
I want to do everything NOW. I want to blast through it all. I want to basically make my house over like in Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. I want to yell “MOVE! THAT! BUS!” and have a bus roll away, and a baby arrive at the same time, into the perfectly decorated nursery and perfectly home inspection ready home. But sadly that isn’t happening - for so many reasons. One of the big ones is that David and I move at two totally different paces, and he is more methodical and thought out than I am. I want to just get it all done and then wait. He wants to take his time, do some research, get the best things for the job, and then slowly put it all together.
I DO NOT WORK LIKE THIS.
But I’m learning that I have to. This process is teaching me “hurry up and wait”, and having to take our time. I am not running on my own time schedule, I’m being held hostage by other people’s, and that is so good for me.
I hate it.
(Hey - I said it was good for me, I didn’t say I like it. :) )
But I’m learning. I’m learning to just let the process guide me and take my cues from that.
But this doesn’t mean that things aren’t happening, because they are! We have our final case specialist interview meeting tomorrow. I got fingerprinted yesterday. We ordered a bunch of home inspection/baby proofing stuff on Amazon in the last day or two. (Outlet covers! Bathtub slip stickers! Fire extinguisher! Oh my!) Our case specialist says that we could be licensed by the end of July. And then our whole world will expand and change again.
Deep breaths, Mandy, deep breaths.
People keep asking me where we are at in the process and how I am feeling. These are hard questions for me to answer. One of the reasons is because it’s hard to say when all of the letters will be dotted and crossed and the stars will align and we will be open for business! And the other is that my brain is just so full of all of the stuff that needs to be done, that I don’t often just sit down and let myself think about what will happen after all of the stuff is done. I mean, I do think about it. But if I let my mind wander too much I skip right over “let’s get the drawers and cabinet locks on” and venture right into “how will I juggle home visits and also what car seat should we get and also will they stay forever and also will we have enough onesies and also and also and also and also” (INSERT HEAD EXPLOSION GIF HERE, PLEASE.) I tend to get myself swept up easily, so I have to let my brain pace itself in order to make it through the next few months smoothly. It’s hard to control that dang brain of mine, but I’m working on it. Along with 828388238 other things.
So I guess this is only really a half update. But David is finally graduated and working at Boeing (Seattle campus), and he LOVES it. Yesterday he texted me to report that they sat him in front of a broken piece of something and told him to fix it and he did it. This is so his wheelhouse. I threw him a surprise party this last weekend and that was super fun - overwhelming at first, and a bit confusing for him, I think - but really fun.
I can’t wait for the next few months. But I have to, so that’s the other side of the coin. It will give me time to be thorough and to feel really ready. I’m glad that we are working with a private agency because they are helping me through the pacing and the waiting, and doing it in a really thoughtful way.
I just can’t wait to find out who gets to come stay with us. Even if they are staying for a week, I just can’t wait. But again - I have to. :) But luckily, I don’t have to wait for very long!
More later my friends! Thank you for loving us.